Believing in a god that can see everything you do must be frustrating sometimes. You would always feel like a recalcitrant child, except instead of your parents going to bed or you getting away to the sanctity of your room, god is always watching you. And worse, he (or she. realistically he) is listening to your thoughts. Didn’t think you could get in trouble for thoughts? Well fuck you dixie-bitch you’re committing thought-crime as we speak.  Thought-crime was a term used in the book 1984, which coined the phrase big brother, which was the name of a reality show that is far more entertaining and rewarding than reading 1984. Real talk.

Anyway, the concept of an omniscient god sort of explains a lot. It certainly explains religious charities. If I thought I was scoring points with G-daddy every time I did charity work I would consider at some point in my life maybe doing charity work. Needless to say if you were living a regular life you would feel pretty guilty pretty often about all those things Christ saw you do. Especially you. You horrid deviant.

That said agnosticism still comes with guilt. For many it’s the same that accompanies procrastination, like ‘Oh shit I should probably look into life after death but I’m probably not dying anytime soon so maybe don’t worry but man would I be embarrassed if I died and st. Peter asked me what I believed and I just froze up. Man I would look like such a wang.’

There is also a general guilt because, hey, someone could be watching. Where for a very religious person shameful acts would feel like having sex with your primary school teacher watching, for agnostics it is more akin to the experience of masturbating whilst your roommate’s cat is in the room. I mean, he probably doesn’t understand what you’re doing, but if he does it is very embarrassing. Though you never know, you may even impress the cat. I know I always try to.