Since the beginning of time, the question of whether or not the universe is under the control of an omniscient being has dominated. When everybody thought the earth was flat and the sun was just a dude who loved rotating around it god (or gods) was (or were) a given (or givens).
But things have changed since then. It is now generally accepted that the earth revolves around the sun, you can’t just bleed out illnesses, the appearance of a black crow does not necessarily mean somebody is dying (unless said crow is actively killing someone) and cracking your knuckles won’t give you arthritis. But of all the outmoded notions in the world, the belief in god persists like that ‘cold sore’ of yours. Cut the shit, you can’t get a cold sore on your junk.
Anyway, I’m not one to say there is definitely no god. There are three distinct camps when it comes to his (or her, but let’s not dick around, his) existence. There are believers, who cannot prove god exists but can prove faith exists, there are atheists, who cannot prove god doesn’t exist but can prove you can’t prove he does, and then there are agnostics, who aren’t concerned about proving or disproving and probably just love sitting on fences. Which is fair, have you sat on a fence recently? It’s incredible. Fence sitting is fucking cash money. There’s a reason cats do it all the time. But I digress.
So let’s ignore theological arguments and operate under the assumption that god does exist. The Christian one. Reading the bible, it is safe to assume that god is the greatest villain known to man. In one of the more popular stories, he drowns the entire planet because he thinks people are being jerks. He also continuously smites people who don’t believe in him (insecure much?).
To be fair the bible was written by people, so maybe they’re just telling filthy lies about old-G. So let’s look at god today. Christians will tell you he has a plan for everyone, and this is where he just appears lazy.
His plan for the majority of people living in the developed world is to work at a job they hate until they hit their sixties, have a few kids during that time and then die by the time they’re 80. The sheer uniformity of people’s lives indicate that the guy just doesn’t give a fuck anymore. It’s worse in Angola, where the infant mortality rate is 178 out of every thousand born. So either God only has a (pretty dull) plan for the comparably affluent citizens of the world, or he fucking hates Angolese babies.
It’s no surprise that so many rich people become born again Christians. If you’re as lucky as they are then the existence of god would seem pretty plausible. But it’s less plausible for people too poor to clothe themselves, or too ill to feed themelves, or too gay to exist in Bob Katter’s Queensland (look at me! look how political I am!). The Jonas brothers believe in god, and were I a Jonas brother, making millions of dollars to play ready-made hits with the promise of as much christian-teen poon as I wanted the minute I misplaced my promise ring, I’d believe in the cat too. But we can’t all be Jonas brothers. Which is perhaps our greatest tragedy.
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